Father's Office (Scott & Dan)

We went to a newishly famous/trendy (dare I say) place called 'Father's Office' in Culver City for what some say is the best burger in LA.  I never get caught up in hype, it usually ends in disappointment.  I heard enough good things that I figured it was worth a try.  Well people, I'm here to tell you it was.

The burgers Dan and I enjoyed (1 1/2 each) were as good as any I've e-v-e-r had.  No joke.  Cooked to order with fresh ingredients, they were top notch all the way.  It's a french baguette roll with Arugula, a combination shot of Maytag Bleu Cheese and grueyere cheeses topped off with carmelized onions and some sort of spread mayo of sorts. It all works to perfection.  The meat is tasty enough (and cooked properly) to stand on it's own with just bread, truly.  Check the juicy burger photo porn I've supplied. These guys have it nailed and that's no small declaration.

I'm feeling this place for a lot of reasons.  One, even though it's a fairly hipster, upscale place, these guys had zero attitude whatsoever.  Also, there was no wait and the parking was free (as it should be, everywhere).  They offered a gillion beers it seemed and the barkeep had Dan and my tastes narrowed down straight way.  To keep the Sallys in check, the burgers come one way here...no substitutions, deletions or second-guessing the chef.  It's their way, period.  I love that confidence. Oh, and there's no ketchup anywhere in the place.  If you want their fries (shoestring or sweet potato) then you're getting the aioli mayonnaise in the dipper ramekin.  

                

I found nothing to gripe about here, not even mildly. It gets my highest score and I can be a picky bitch when it comes to my burgers. Trust me, you'll dig it.  All of it. - Scott

Spot on.  Outstanding.

 

And now your People Report...

 

Father's Office is in the Helms Bakery building, which is a big old factory that has been converted to an artsy-fartsy design center.  When your faggity designer says, "Let's go to Helms", he's not talking about going to the bridge on a pirate ship.  He's talking about "window treatments" and lucite coffee tables at the Helms Design Center, a mecca for the gay and stylish.   So, you can pretty much profile the people who are at Father's Office, before you even walk in.

 

The guy sitting next to me was a bizarre combination of homo, dweeb, geek, and nerd.   He had physique like John Candy, was wearing blue framed eyeglasses, was reading the "Republic" magazine, a magazine that stands for who-the-fuck knows, and he was writing madly in his journal the whole time, when he wasn't interrogating the waiter about the Arrugula.   I'll give him credit though.  I have no idea what label to hang on him.  Fucking scary is the best I can do.  I'm sure he would have jerked off under the bar if he could have gotten away with it. 

 

Sitting across from me was the young couple fresh off of a late night at a trendy bar and a morning shagging.  He had a beer and she had a bottled soda (this place sells soda in a bottle...a nice touch but the way this place presents, it's really kind of snotty).  Oh, and before I forget, this place refers to french fries here as "Frites."  Are you getting the picture?

Anyway, I've got a full view o

f the shagging couple and she's a cute little thing.  Looked like David Arquette's sister.  What's her name?  Monica from "Friends."  Her rack was outstanding and I had a nice profile view of that.   She caught me looking a couple of times and commented to her boyfriend, I think.  There was lots of whispering going on over there so they could have been just talking about the retard sitting next to me (not Scott).

 

The bow on top of our little outing, however, was the couple sitting to to our left and a couple of seats down from the scary guy.  She was blonde and had full dreadlocks.  She, of course, was with the all sleeved out tattoo guy.  They looked like they just came from a punk rock concert, or facsimile thereof, and were definitely very rough.  Then, out of nowhere, they order glasses of wine.  Wine?  Really?  These two look like they were weened on beer and they seemed like the two people in th

e joint who gave it some credibility at all in the beer drinking department, and they ordered wine?  I don't get it.  In any case, Scott quickly concluded that chicks with dreadlocks will let you do ANYTHING to them.  I concur.   If you offered up a kick-fucking to that chick, she would have jumped on it and NOW please.

 

Above all, the place was full of interesting people, so we were way ahead of the game when we walked in.   And the burger was, honestly, probably the best I have ever had.  It had lots of fancy stuff on it, so I don't know if you can put it side-by-side with an In-N-Out, etc., but it definitely raised the bar.  -  Dan

Corrigan's Steak House (Dan)

Friends:

So you want some "atmosphere" with your steak dinner?

We have a place for you, in spades.

Scott, Gregg and I decided to go to Corrigan's Steak House a couple of weeks ago for our tri-monthly food review outing and to otherwise get back to nature and experience the local Thousand Oaks flavor. We got an ass full of that with some to spare.

Corrigans is a legendary steakhouse on Thousand Oaks Blvd. and it's been there forever and is now probably circling the drain. The place, apparently,is named after an old stuntman in old Westerns named "Corrigan". Corrigan is dead and gone now but his son Tom still runs the place, 10 gallon hat and all, and he basically sits at the bar and gets hammered drunk on Wild Turkey and barks out orders. So you can pretty much fill in the gaps on all the decor in the place. Guns and antlers on the walls, old western movie posters, wagon wheels dangling perilously from the ceiling, old televisions stacked on other old televisions with extension cords strung like tripwire, winos and miscreants sitting at the bar, the whole bit. This place is all about locals and making sure they get their drink on by 6:30 a.m., which is opening time for the bar, as deftly noticed by Scott upon first glance at the menu.

So I arrive early via designated driver and take a seat at the bar. The bartender was nice enough but clearly she's an enabler to all the world class alcoholics who frequent this place. She's serving drinks, running the football pool, stirring the Crockpot full of polish sausage on the bar (help yourself) and handling all the other extracurricular activities behind the bar. She's skilled. The three chuckleheads at the bar next to me are already completely heated by 5 PM and are having a drunken conversation about Chardonnay. These guys obviously just came from hanging drywall somewhere, yet they're talking about their favorite Chardonnays. I'm intrigued and I wonder if they know Gregg. For good measure, they're giving me the stinkeye and then they start in with the racial jokes. Now I'm scared, and I'm not even close to being the target of their jokes. I text Gregg and ask for his ETA. I'm going to need some backup here. In the meantime, Tom the owner is at the other end of the bar, with his big ass hat, talking on the telephone to a guy who he apparently wants to hire as kitchen help, but doesn't speak English. So Tom is speaking loudly into the telephone, conducting restaurant business right out in the open, and doing his best "No hablo" thing and trying to communicate to this guy to show up the next day to start work. How desperate was that guy for a job? Who the hell is running the kitchen right now?

In the meantime, we're now in prime dinner hour and the entire restaurant is empty. I'm talking crickets. The place seats about 100 people and there's NOBODY there, except the assholes at the bar. What is this place trying to tell me?

Then I notice that the banquet room adjacent to the bar is empty, but 4 guys go in and start setting up a card game. These guys looked like middle aged doctors and it was obvious that we were now interrupting their weekly card game (with money changing hands) right there in the bar. These guys were all business and, in all honesty, I'm kinda jealous. They picked a perfect venue for a weekly card game and clearly had a tradition going. These guys were going to get hassled by nobody in this place.

Gregg and Scott finally arrive and our waiter makes a big production out of giving us the best seat in the house, which is next to the broken fireplace under the dangerously dangling wagon wheel.

The waiter was absolutely priceless. A very sweet guy who was trying very hard and actually did a pretty good job but was totally distracting. Imagine Herve Villechaize but about two feet taller. Same goofy accent and fucked up teeth and the whole deal. We asked him to run down the specials for us and the guy went on a filibuster for about 5 minutes. He knocked out all the specials from memory, and I'm talking about a LONG list of specials. He actually started to sweat about half way through. He nailed it though, and we were impressed. This guy was dedicated and I have to say he was definitely an overachiever in this place. He even put a "reserved" placard on our table for crying out loud. Reserved for what?

So then Scott starts working the menu. He's all over it and no stone is going unturned. In the end, however, it looks like it's going to be standard ribeyes all the way around for this dance. Done. Gregg and Scott are going with onions, thank you very much, and go ahead and deliver some onions on the side, just in case of emergency. Done and done. Baked potato? Sure. And bring all the fixins with that. Garlic bread and another cocktail? Absolutely, my good man, and keep 'em comin'. How about a side of chili with your steak, Mr. Akemon? Fuckin' A. Bring it. We're definitely warming up to this place. So then the food comes out, and it's spectacular. The attached photos speak for themselves, so let your eyes do the tasting. This place was old school, with the butter, sour cream, and chive carousel right there at our fingertips. Go ahead and help yourself and there's not WAY you can hurt it. When's the last time you saw the baked potato fixins carousel? Didn't that used to be standard circa Hungry Hunger and Velvet Turtle? What the hell? And by the way, the chili on the side was pure ambrosia. In the end, I don't want to even know what the kitchen in this place looks like, given the way the dining room looks, but there is some magic going on back there and it was sprinkled all over this meal.

We wrapped up dinner with another cocktail and group dessert and headed for the door. That's when the waiter really started to sweat because there was some sort of foul up on his tip and we walked out without paying him. That guy worked his ass off and we almost stiffed him. We were his only table that night (seriously) and then we were going to stiff him? His whole family was probably counting on that tip to live. I don't know how many of his family members it would take to kill us, but I know how many they were going to use. Dying in the parking lot would actually have been an interesting ending to this tale.

But no. Instead, we piled into Gregg's new Mustang, dropped the top down, threw our capes around our necks, bid Corrigans adieu, and roared away into the night and into a blissful steak haze. But first we had to stop for smokes.

/da








Follow up:

I went in expecting a 6ish experience.I left feeling it was 8ish, I quite enjoyed myself. There's a place for Corrigan's in our lives, I'm just not sure I know where. Yet.Honorable mention goes out to the Cowboy Beans (done correctly) which are a rare treat in today's dining arena. Oh and the lasagna dish of grilled onions they dialed up for Gregg. Man vs. Food material for sure.The 'scratching my head' award goes out to the Ulysses (our server) for showing us the dessert tray and then serving our selections right from it. Really? That tray had been out...just sitting out on theeasel thing for longer than we'd been there. Can he do that? <> My spell check didn't even go off for this. Is that really a word?

Nice pull and nice job overall Dan. Bravo. - Scott

Pea Soup Anderson's (Scott)

If you don't fancy split pea soup, you can tune out now...

You're undoubtedly aware of the Andersen's Split Pea Soup in the canned variety. You might not know that they also have Andersen's restaurants that serve the stuff up homemade. Now I've been a big fan of the green goodness since I first tried it down in Carlsbad some 10 years back. It's just tasty. At the time, they had 2 big cauldrons of it at the end of the salad bar...one plain and one with little diced ham bits throughout. You know which one I went for. I love LOVE that stuff. A few years later I was back (Carlsbad) and they had done away with the Ham variety. What? Did the dicer/slicer guy quit? Haven't these people heard of the slap-chop? Seriously. It was then I noticed they were touting the fact it's 'vegetarian' so undoubtedly some corporate sissypiss drafted a memo to 'do away with the good version' and let's focus on the softer clientele. That Carlsbad location closed not long after. No surprise to me.

I've known about the Buellton location (maybe the lone Andersen's outpost now?) since I was a kid. There are signs all over saying '80 miles to Buellton' or whatever but it wasn't until 5 or 6 years ago I finally made it in there. I was underwhelmed...it was ok but not dazzling. I've held some sort of grudge ever since they dropped the ham I guess. The other Danish stuff on the menu was arguably better. The sausage sampler plate is killer by the way, try it.

Anyhow, I was driving through Buellton last night and I stopped in for some of my Santa Maria seasoning that only they seem to sell (in the gift shop). They no longer sell it. I stopped here for nothing, great. As I pondered my hunger level and what my next move should be, I saw a menu opened up on the hostess stand. Hmm, I see you can dress up your soup with ham, cheese, or onions for $2.50/serving over the already stout $8.95 price tag on the 'Traveler's Special'... That's a lot for soup, bread and a milkshake.
Then I see they have a 'bread-bowl' version which is only $8.50 but it comes with the toppings on the side..and no drink. Has this been on the menu all along...how could I have missed it? Why not I figured...I'm not that hungry and if it sucks I'll know for next time. With that I saddled up to the counter, where it's always a good show, and I sheepishly ordered it. I say sheepishly because the bread-bowl anything is usually slapped together for the tourists and lacking in just about every sense of the word. They've got none on display and nobody else has one in front of them. It was a risk but, whatever, I ordered it..it's coming... so that's that. I've been watching the girls ladling the soup out of the big pot...it's one ladle per standard ceramic bowl. Nothing spectacular. Then my girl comes around the corner from the kitchen with what looks like a small pumpkin shaped loaf of bread. She's got the top off like a jack o' lantern and the innards neatly carved out as a one-piece round ball. I see her roll over to the big pot and ladle out two scoops of the soup right into the opening. While I'm processing this she swings by the kitchen for a plate of the different toppings to go with my steaming gord of soup. I said as she approached 'you have got to be kidding'. It was HUGE. A joke, right? Nope. Upon closer inspection I see that the lid and 'innard ball' were brushed in butter and grilled to a light toasting. Oh boy, I am feeling this now. I got hungry and scared all in the same moment.

The sourdough bowl was fresh with just the right bite, texture and warmth. It was right out of the oven pillowy perfection. The soup was spot-on and when I dropped the ham bits in there I heard music. It got more impressive with every bite and I could custom make layers given the 5 different toppings. It was thick and alive with flavor and satisfaction. I got about 2/3rds though the thing...bursting...and my girl comes by to say 'let me know when you want more hun'. No way, no w-a-y is she serious. After a while, the show wound down and I paid my bill only to have her say 'you should come by on Fridays and try the chowder in that bowl, it's the best I've ever had.' She knows food, I can tell, so this bread bowl fantasy show they're running is firmly on my radar when I'm up that way. I can't recommend this enough if you like split pea soup.

Hit the road people, it's all out there and some of it is damn fine.

Johnny P's - A Place for Ribs

So this time it was my turn to choose the locale and I went nostalgic. Our very own Rich Jorgensen worked at a BBQ place in Thousand Oaks called 'Porky's' in high school. He'd show up after work with their famous Onion Ring Loaf, that crazy BBQ sauce and some Potato Skins. We'd meet him out on the driveway of Brian's house and mack it all right there so we didn't have to share with the 'rest' of the party inside. Now those were some finger lickin' good times. Anyhow, Porky's sadly burned down a short time later. They re-opened in a much smaller location in Westlake soon after and renamed themselves 'Johnny Ps: A Place for Ribs.' It's been 24 years and I had yet to try it so we went last night.

It's a locals favorite, judging by the clientele. We had some classic WLV Octogenarians, the typical sports bar types and seated right next to us was my first boss (Skip Toller of Electra Craft). We elected to sit outside on the patio that overlooks bustling Westlake Blvd. It doesn't get any more hometown than that and this feature is the best thing about Johhny Ps, without a doubt. We tossed back some beers and ordered up the Full Loaf of the Onion Rings, of course.


After 30 minutes it arrived, luke warm at best and a bright-orange color to boot! The flavor was there though, just as I remembered. With that we each ordered our entrees. I went with the Beef Ribs and Baby Back combo. In hindsight I should have gone with all Beef Ribs but it's a gamble since so many places do them poorly. Here they were decent, not great, but decent enough. The Baby Backs were not, in my opinion.
I'm a bit of a snob since smoking ribs is a speciality of mine but these weren't tender and the sauce not only wasn't a good match but it was just lathered on after they were plated. It was a weak attempt on those, I was left flat.

My Baked Potato was good, I can't fault them there. Gregg's Spare Ribs were well-received, he seemed to enjoy them. I never really heard from Dan on his Tri-Tip but it didn't look spectacular.
The service was slow, the food was anywhere from weak to decently good and I felt the price was a bit much. The atmosphere of the patio can't be beat anywhere in town except maybe front row Bocaccio's (at the lake). I'd come back here for beers and appetizers anytime, and I'm sure we will.




For that alone, trying it was worthwhile. As it stands, the reigning giant for most BBQ in this town is, of course, Wood Ranch. As good as Wood Ranch is, they don't have a Pulled Pork Sandwich and that leaves me with a wandering eye...

(Additional comments by Gregg)

For the most part I agree with Scott with the exception of the onion rings. The crude orange mess was an insult to onion rings everywhere. Our server took forever to bring anything and Dan spied her several times in the kitchen on her cell phone. On the other hand, if Megan Fox has a sister, this is her. It almost balanced out the long delays in service.

Famous Dave's BBQ

Where there used to be an Applebee's at the corner of Westlake and Thousand Oaks Blvd. there is now a Famous Dave's BBQ. I had never been to or heard of Famous Dave's but anything must be better than Applebee's. I was correct, it was.

Brody and I stopped by to give it a quick once over. Our female server was almost too good. I don't know if she would have done the whole sauce show if it had just been me but Brody seemed to enjoy it. She made pig faces and smiley faces and spelled Brody's name all while giving an enthusiastic explanation of each of the 6 sauces offered. Three different plates were used for sauce artwork and then left with us for the duration. Actually, if she had done the whole show and it had been just me it would have been pretty awkward.

On Scott's recommendation I went wit the pulled pork sandwich. Our server quickly informed me that they only have a cut pork sandwich because you lose too much of the bark flavoring from the grill if they pull the meat. Ok.

The sandwich was tasty. A tiny amount of the pork might have stayed on the grill too long and needed to be removed from my mouth by hand but that didn't offset the overall experience. The baked beans have some kind of wonderful smoke flavor that I haven't tasted before and I can only hope its something real and not a trick added with flavorings. I also got a side of green beans and cole slaw. The green beans weren't worth mentioning as the serving size amounted to what woulod fit in the palm of my hand. The slaw was solid. Nothing crazy or new age, just good house made slaw with no pretention of being light or healthy.

I should mention that although I would recommend this place the portions of all food ordered was definitely on the small side. I did not leave with that Wood Ranch fullness one might expect.
Speaking of Wood Ranch, Famous Dave's does not compete on the same level but I would certainly opt for this place before going to Bandits.

The First Meeting

I'm not sure I have a full review in me but here are the pics from our first of the 'Dinner Club' series.  It's basically 3 guys, a different place each month, in keeping with the 'man food' we like to eat.  First up is the 'The Counter' just off Lindero Canyon Rd. It's a build your own burger joint and overall fairly impressive, at least the idea of it, given that it's Westlake-new.

For me, a good burger is about the meat, the texture, the taste of said patty.  Then the bun, then the toppings. While I wasn't terribly impressed by the burgers as a whole (they were decent), I thought the patty itself was won-der-ful.  The simple fact they cook it with a true pink in the middle excites me.  That's a lost art.  And it's clearly good meat they start with (heartily-portioned too).

The sweet potato fries were stand-out good,  The icy beer glasses also a nice touch.  Otherwise, I felt the mark was missed ever-so-slightly.  The recipe for success is there but I was wanting more somehow.  if it were my place, I could dial it in to win, no question.  Then again, I was a little off that day so I'll need to invoke the 'try it twice' clause before I pass final judgement.  Stella's in Newbury Park might be the best of the local burger stops having passed the 'let's just phone it in from now on' mentality of Jack's Deli of the past few visits.  Good vibes come from Jerry's Deli across the street, I've been to the valley location and it's faboo (real good).  We might need to hit that at some point.

Next month is not going to be Soup Plantation or Boulangerie, that much we know.