We went to a newishly famous/trendy (dare I say) place called 'Father's Office' in Culver City for what some say is the best burger in LA. I never get caught up in hype, it usually ends in disappointment. I heard enough good things that I figured it was worth a try. Well people, I'm here to tell you it was.
The burgers Dan and I enjoyed (1 1/2 each) were as good as any I've e-v-e-r had. No joke. Cooked to order with fresh ingredients, they were top notch all the way. It's a french baguette roll with Arugula, a combination shot of Maytag Bleu Cheese and grueyere cheeses topped off with carmelized onions and some sort of spread mayo of sorts. It all works to perfection. The meat is tasty enough (and cooked properly) to stand on it's own with just bread, truly. Check the juicy burger photo porn I've supplied. These guys have it nailed and that's no small declaration.
I'm feeling this place for a lot of reasons. One, even though it's a fairly hipster, upscale place, these guys had zero attitude whatsoever. Also, there was no wait and the parking was free (as it should be, everywhere). They offered a gillion beers it seemed and the barkeep had Dan and my tastes narrowed down straight way. To keep the Sallys in check, the burgers come one way here...no substitutions, deletions or second-guessing the chef. It's their way, period. I love that confidence. Oh, and there's no ketchup anywhere in the place. If you want their fries (shoestring or sweet potato) then you're getting the aioli mayonnaise in the dipper ramekin.
The burgers Dan and I enjoyed (1 1/2 each) were as good as any I've e-v-e-r had. No joke. Cooked to order with fresh ingredients, they were top notch all the way. It's a french baguette roll with Arugula, a combination shot of Maytag Bleu Cheese and grueyere cheeses topped off with carmelized onions and some sort of spread mayo of sorts. It all works to perfection. The meat is tasty enough (and cooked properly) to stand on it's own with just bread, truly. Check the juicy burger photo porn I've supplied. These guys have it nailed and that's no small declaration.
I'm feeling this place for a lot of reasons. One, even though it's a fairly hipster, upscale place, these guys had zero attitude whatsoever. Also, there was no wait and the parking was free (as it should be, everywhere). They offered a gillion beers it seemed and the barkeep had Dan and my tastes narrowed down straight way. To keep the Sallys in check, the burgers come one way here...no substitutions, deletions or second-guessing the chef. It's their way, period. I love that confidence. Oh, and there's no ketchup anywhere in the place. If you want their fries (shoestring or sweet potato) then you're getting the aioli mayonnaise in the dipper ramekin.
I found nothing to gripe about here, not even mildly. It gets my highest score and I can be a picky bitch when it comes to my burgers. Trust me, you'll dig it. All of it. - Scott
Spot on. Outstanding.
And now your People Report...
Father's Office is in the Helms Bakery building, which is a big old factory that has been converted to an artsy-fartsy design center. When your faggity designer says, "Let's go to Helms", he's not talking about going to the bridge on a pirate ship. He's talking about "window treatments" and lucite coffee tables at the Helms Design Center, a mecca for the gay and stylish. So, you can pretty much profile the people who are at Father's Office, before you even walk in.
The guy sitting next to me was a bizarre combination of homo, dweeb, geek, and nerd. He had physique like John Candy, was wearing blue framed eyeglasses, was reading the "Republic" magazine, a magazine that stands for who-the-fuck knows, and he was writing madly in his journal the whole time, when he wasn't interrogating the waiter about the Arrugula. I'll give him credit though. I have no idea what label to hang on him. Fucking scary is the best I can do. I'm sure he would have jerked off under the bar if he could have gotten away with it.
Sitting across from me was the young couple fresh off of a late night at a trendy bar and a morning shagging. He had a beer and she had a bottled soda (this place sells soda in a bottle...a nice touch but the way this place presents, it's really kind of snotty). Oh, and before I forget, this place refers to french fries here as "Frites." Are you getting the picture?
Anyway, I've got a full view o
f the shagging couple and she's a cute little thing. Looked like David Arquette's sister. What's her name? Monica from "Friends." Her rack was outstanding and I had a nice profile view of that. She caught me looking a couple of times and commented to her boyfriend, I think. There was lots of whispering going on over there so they could have been just talking about the retard sitting next to me (not Scott).
The bow on top of our little outing, however, was the couple sitting to to our left and a couple of seats down from the scary guy. She was blonde and had full dreadlocks. She, of course, was with the all sleeved out tattoo guy. They looked like they just came from a punk rock concert, or facsimile thereof, and were definitely very rough. Then, out of nowhere, they order glasses of wine. Wine? Really? These two look like they were weened on beer and they seemed like the two people in th
e joint who gave it some credibility at all in the beer drinking department, and they ordered wine? I don't get it. In any case, Scott quickly concluded that chicks with dreadlocks will let you do ANYTHING to them. I concur. If you offered up a kick-fucking to that chick, she would have jumped on it and NOW please.
Above all, the place was full of interesting people, so we were way ahead of the game when we walked in. And the burger was, honestly, probably the best I have ever had. It had lots of fancy stuff on it, so I don't know if you can put it side-by-side with an In-N-Out, etc., but it definitely raised the bar. - Dan
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